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Toxic People: Let go to grow ~ Mary Thomas, Associate Editor

Toxic People: Let go to grow ~ Mary Thomas, Associate Editor
Mary Thomas, Associate Editor, ATB, Jan 2019, Edmonton

“Save your skin from the corrosive acids from the mouths of toxic people. Someone who just helped you to speak evil about another person can later help another person to speak evil about you.” ― IsraelmoreAyivor
In our everyday lives most of us have at some point or the other dealt with negative people who are a drain on your energy. Some of them may be going through a difficult phase in their lives. They may be ill, or lacking love and emotional support. Such people need to be listened to, supported, and cared for,maybe not by you but by experts.
Then there’s the toxic bully, who will use his or her mood swings to intimidate and manipulateinflictingperpetual misery. So how can you best manage the fallout from other people’s relentless toxicity?
Toxic people defy logic. Some are callously unaware of the negative impact they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. Either way, they create unnecessary complexity, strife, and worst of all stress.
Studies have long shown that stress has a lasting, negative impact on the brain. Exposure to a few days of stress compromises the effectiveness of neurons in the hippocampus—an important brain area responsible for reasoning and memory. Weeks of stress cause irreversible damage to neuronal dendrites, and months of stress can permanently destroy neurons. Stress is a formidable threat to success—when stress gets out of control, your brain pathways alter and your performance suffers.
The ability to manage your emotions and remain calm under pressure has a direct link to your performance. TalentSmart has conducted research with more than a million people, and found that 90% of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress. One of their greatest gifts is the ability to neutralize toxic people. Top performers have well-honed coping strategies that they employ to keep toxic people at bay. Here are a few:
1. Stop accepting their toxic behavior
2. Speak up!
3. Don’t take it personally
4. Practice practical compassion
5. Set boundarieson acceptable and unacceptable behavior
6. Choose your battles
7. Rise above
8. Letno one limit yourjoy
9. Focus onsolutions
10. Don’t forget
11. Squash negative self-talk
12. Limit caffeine intake
13. Get some sleep
14. Use yoursupport systems
15. Take time for yourself
Until you let go of all the toxic people in your life you will never be able to grow into your fullest potential, even when they have good intentions and show up in the guise of friendship.What are your experiences with toxic people? How have you managed to cope with their behavior? Write to us at mary@asiantribune.ca

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